ates (bleedseptember) wrote,
ates
bleedseptember

last night before i went to bed i spoke to Toni of the shared vision we had of Jesus Christ watching over us in the corner of her room in Cocoa beach last November. we had the same vision, but on separate nights. she listened to me describe him, and said her vision was directly out of "a book or something"

mine was similar. Jesus was softly glowing, and had his arms raised. another detail that came to mind was interesting. he was blurry. i didn't have my glasses on, because i had been sleeping.

i did not understand why this was relevant immediately. today, i realized it is because of this. if the image Jesus had been merely a hallucination created by my mind, i am certain he would have been in focus. the same way that in my dreams i don't wear glasses but all the images are clear, my mind would have created a crystal clear hallucination of Jesus Christ.

why was he blurry?

anyhow, Toni fell asleep and i decided i would pray to God and ask Jesus to enter my life. this thought, this prayer, for me, is always accompanied by a horrible feeling of hesitation and fear. i usually end up rolling over on my stomach. this is usually my way of telling God the conversation is over.

anyhow, i fell into that strange point between sleep and wake. i kept thinking of Shinto, the Japanese worship of spirits, because of the report i have been doing on Seppuku for my mythology class. Japanese symbols kept floating past my eyes, and i wanted to wake Toni and tell her how important this was.

i got up and walked out of my room because the air felt so hot that i couldn't breathe properly. i opened my door and saw all these little green, blue, and red lights. (now, i am certain that these were just the lights from the computers in our living room) but at the time, i was certain that i had been abducted by an alien spacecraft so that they could monitor my dreams and my sleep habits.

i was not scared by this. i realized it was best that i laid back down, in order to not disrupt their scientific study of myself.




this morning.......i am tired
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